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The Loneliness of Leadership: Why Every Business Owner Needs a Community and How to Build It



Running a successful small or medium-sized business is no walk in the park. Between juggling finances, managing employees, and keeping clients happy, it's easy to forget one crucial ingredient: community. Yes, you heard that right. The connections you forge with fellow business owners might just be the secret sauce your enterprise has been missing.


The Lonely at the Top Syndrome

Let's face it, being a business owner can be isolating. You're the captain of your ship, making tough decisions daily, often with no one to bounce ideas off. It's not uncommon to feel like you're on an island, even if you're in the heart of a bustling city.


The numbers don't lie:

  • 62% of business owners report feeling depressed at least once a week.

  • 54% say that running a business has negatively impacted their mental health.

  • A staggering 3 out of 4 entrepreneurs report feeling lonely in their role.


These statistics aren't just numbers; they represent real struggles that can impact your business performance and personal well-being.


When Isolation Hits the Books

The lack of community doesn't just affect your mood—it can hit your bottom line too.


Without a network of peers:

  • You might miss out on potential collaborations that could expand your reach.

  • Problem-solving becomes more challenging without diverse perspectives.

  • Opportunities for mentorship and growth can slip through the cracks.


Imagine trying to navigate the choppy waters of a global pandemic or an economic downturn without a support system. It's like trying to sail solo across the Atlantic—possible, but infinitely more challenging.


Breaking the Ice: It's Not as Easy as It Looks

Now, you might be thinking, "Just network more!" If only it were that simple. As a savvy business owner, you're not exactly struggling to make ends meet. But this success can sometimes create unexpected barriers.


The challenges of connection:

  • Fear of competition or idea theft can make openness difficult.

  • Time constraints often push relationship-building to the back burner.

  • Finding peers at a similar business level can be tricky.

  • Vulnerability feels risky when you're used to projecting strength and confidence.

  • Past negative experiences might make you hesitant to open up again.

  • The pressure to always appear successful can hinder authentic sharing.

  • Balancing professional boundaries with personal connection is a delicate dance.

  • Imposter syndrome might make you question if you "belong" in certain circles.

  • Cultural or language differences can add an extra layer of complexity.

  • The fast-paced nature of business can make sustained relationships challenging.


It's like trying to make friends as an adult—awkward, time-consuming, and sometimes downright uncomfortable. But just like those childhood friendships that started with a simple "Want to play?", business relationships often begin with a simple, "Want to grab coffee?"


Practical Ways to Build Your Business Tribe

  1. Attend Industry Retreats: Nothing beats a few days away from the daily grind to foster connections. Plus, who doesn't love a good excuse for a mini-vacation? To make the most of retreats, set clear networking goals beforehand. Prepare an elevator pitch, bring business cards, and follow up with new contacts within a week of the event. Consider organizing a small group dinner during the retreat to deepen connections in a more intimate setting.


  2. Join (or Start) a Mastermind Group: Regular meetings with like-minded business owners can provide accountability and support. To ensure success, establish clear guidelines for participation, set meeting agendas, and rotate leadership roles. Encourage vulnerability by sharing both successes and challenges. Consider using a facilitator to keep discussions focused and productive.


  3. Leverage Co-working Spaces: Even if it's just once a week, working alongside other entrepreneurs can spark unexpected collaborations. For business owners with diverse work styles:

    • Office-based owners: Use co-working spaces for off-site strategy sessions or team-building days.

    • Home-based entrepreneurs: Schedule regular co-working days to combat isolation and gain fresh perspectives.

    • Client-facing businesses: Utilize meeting rooms in co-working spaces for client presentations or workshops.

    To maximize benefits, participate in co-working space events, introduce yourself to other regulars, and be open to impromptu conversations. Consider hosting your own event or workshop to establish yourself as a community leader.


  4. Engage in Online Communities: From Facebook groups to LinkedIn forums, virtual connections can be just as valuable as in-person ones. To make the most of these platforms, consistently contribute valuable content, engage in discussions, and offer help without expecting immediate returns. Set aside dedicated time each week for meaningful online interactions.


  5. Volunteer for Industry Organizations: Giving back to your professional community is a win-win for networking and feel-good vibes. Choose organizations aligned with your values and expertise. Take on leadership roles or committee positions to increase visibility and influence. Use these opportunities to showcase your skills and build credibility within your industry.


Remember, building authentic connections takes time and effort. It's not about collecting business cards; it's about cultivating relationships that can weather the storms of entrepreneurship together. Consistency is key – make relationship-building a regular part of your business routine, not just a one-off activity.



Building Authentic Connections: The Art of Giving Before Taking

While knowing where to find your tribe is crucial, understanding how to build genuine relationships within that community is equally important. The key lies in being generous, authentic, and leading with value—not being a taker.


Let's explore some dos and don'ts of relationship building, drawing inspiration from timeless wisdom shared by experts like Dale Carnegie and Keith Ferrazzi.


What Not to Do:

  1. Don't Be a Networking Shark: Avoid approaching every interaction with a "what's in it for me" mentality. People can sense insincerity from a mile away.

  2. Avoid the Hard Sell: Pushing your business card into someone's hand within the first minute of meeting them is a surefire way to turn them off.

  3. Don't Monopolize Conversations: Talking only about yourself and your achievements will quickly bore others and make you seem self-centered.

  4. Avoid Being a 'Taker': Don't reach out to people only when you need something. This creates a transactional relationship, not a meaningful one.


What to Do:

  1. Lead with Generosity: As Keith Ferrazzi suggests in "Never Eat Alone," focus on what you can do for others before considering what they can do for you. Offer introductions, share resources, or provide valuable insights without expecting immediate reciprocation.

  2. Practice Active Listening: Dale Carnegie emphasizes the importance of being a good listener. Show genuine interest in others by asking thoughtful questions and truly listening to their responses.

  3. Follow Up and Follow Through: If you promise to make an introduction or send information, do it promptly. Reliability builds trust and respect.

  4. Share Your Knowledge: Offer your expertise freely. This could be through mentoring, writing articles, or speaking at events. Becoming a valuable resource naturally attracts others to you.

  5. Be Authentic: Don't try to be someone you're not. Authenticity is magnetic and builds stronger, more lasting connections.

  6. Celebrate Others' Successes: Genuinely rejoice in the achievements of your network. This positive energy is contagious and strengthens bonds.

  7. Create Value in Every Interaction: Whether it's a quick chat or a formal meeting, always aim to leave the other person feeling that their time was well spent.


Remember, building a strong network is not about collecting the most business cards or LinkedIn connections. It's about fostering genuine relationships based on mutual respect, trust, and value.


By focusing on how you can contribute to others' success, you'll naturally find that your own success follows.


As Dale Carnegie wisely put it, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."


Apply this principle to your business relationships, and watch your network—and your business—flourish.


The Payoff: More Than Just Business Benefits

While the business advantages of community are clear—referrals, partnerships, shared resources—the personal benefits are equally important.


Having a tribe of fellow business owners means:

  • A safe space to vent about the unique challenges of entrepreneurship.

  • Celebrating wins with people who truly understand the journey.

  • Access to a wealth of experience and wisdom beyond your own.


In the end, success in business isn't just about the numbers in your bank account. It's about creating a sustainable, fulfilling career that doesn't leave you feeling like the lone wolf.


So, the next time you're tempted to skip that networking event or decline that coffee invitation, remember: your next great business idea, collaboration, or friendship might be just one "hello" away. After all, in the world of business, we're all in this together—even if we're competing for the same market share.



About the Author:

Kerry-Ann T. Powell is a seasoned global business strategist and speaker with over 20 years of experience, including her role as a Washington, DC attorney, lobbyist, and fundraiser. She is the founder of Trafalgar Strategies, where she and her team empower entrepreneurs to overcome challenges and thrive in their businesses. Kerry-Ann also hosts business retreats including the Business Comeback Retreat, designed to help entrepreneurs bounce back from setbacks and stage their epic comebacks. www.trafalgarstrategies.co

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